Feeling Nostalgic and Saying Goodbye

So today one of my dear friends left to begin the next stage of her life. She's a dancer, and she's moving to West Palm Beach, Florida to dance for a company there under contract. I'm really happy for her, but she is one of the individuals in my core group of friends and I can honestly say that letting her go was very difficult. Out of this "core group" there are about four or five of us, all the same age, and last year after we graduated high school I was the only one who continued on to a major university. Thus, I was the only one that had a big traumatic goodbye/farewell scenario unfold. I remember it vividly; we got together the night before, went out to dinner at Cheesecake, then went back to one of our houses and drank mojitos (don't judge me :). Then the next morning I woke up, made sure everything was packed, and prepared to end that chapter of my life and leave for college. My friends came over and in a very, very tearful, traumatic farewell, I left. They came and saw me off, told me how much they'd miss me, and then my parents stepped in, told everyone to grab hands, and my mother said a prayer through her sobs for my safety, well-being, and for my future.

Now I know how it feels to be on the receiving end; to be the one who has to say goodbye. My friend, we'll call her Danielle, is very different from me politically, but that was part of what made our friendship so vibrant and so strong; there were four of us there saying goodbye to Danielle and we all stood in a line and hugged her. When she got to me and my ex-girlfriend, she lost it -- as she was very close to both of us. When she lost it and succumbed to her tears, so did everyone else. It reminded me so much of when I left as we embraced and told eachother we loved each other, which we do -- very much. I really do wish Danielle the best, and miss her dearly. Saying goodbye is never easy, but I feel it probably makes one stronger.

I also feel myself recollecting and becoming nostalgic now more than ever before. I still have a few weeks before I go back to school, but lately I've been finding myself daydreaming about high school, about memories past, and about my life before I was, literally, on my own. I was doing the same thing this time last year, but that was because I was about to dive off into the great unknown and begin a completely new, foreign chapter in my life. Now, I'm just remembering all the things I've done; it's crazy to think that now I'm really out of high school. I've been out of high school for two years now, I'm no longer a fresh graduate. I'm a college student. It's scary and it makes me sad as I remember myself walking through the halls of my high school, optimistic and happy and so blissfully ignorant to the real world, believing that this would last forever and that it would never truly end. But it does, faithful readers, it does. I now tell my sister the same things I was told years ago: enjoy it while it lasts, because it's coming, and it will come fast. Those words are so true. You really do grow up.

In other news, I think I'm in love, but I don't think that's really a giant revelation. "Love" is probably the wrong word. I'm more "lovesick." So lovesick, in fact, that I want to write a song. Or jump off a bridge. Or just sit and cry and drink wine and listen to Bob Segar and wallow in self-pity. Please pray for me.